Pam Ferguson and Bob Remer Wedding 6.7.2025

Remer/Ferguson Wedding

Church of the Atonement

The Rev’d Charles Everson

June 7, 2025

Nearly two years ago, not long after I arrived at Atonement, I met Pam as she was ushering at the 11:00 Mass right back there. Bob was standing next to her, and immediately, I noticed that there was something unmistakable in the way they looked at each other—a sparkle in their eyes, a warmth in their exchange. I asked, “Are you two a couple?” They seemed a bit surprised, as I don’t think they’d started telling people yet. I said something along the lines of, “Well, when it’s time to put a ring on it, you know who to call.” And here we are.

We are here to see the culmination of that sparkle as we celebrate with you, Bob and Pam, as you join your lives together in Holy Matrimony. We are not only here to witness this joyful occasion, but to celebrate the God who makes all things new—the God who weaves together the threads of your lives into something more beautiful, more complete. And we rejoice today in the presence of your families, those who have loved and supported you through every season.

Pam and Bob, each of you has known great love and deep loss. Tom and Katie were remarkable people, and I wish I could have known both of them. Katie was a pioneering professional—a leader in public health, a tireless advocate, and a woman of dignity and wisdom. She lit up the room with her smile and changed institutions with her strong leadership. She gave of herself in service and was, in your words, Bob, “the most beautiful woman, inside and out.” Tom was a man of great heart and humor, a father and grandfather who made memories for a lifetime. He worked with energy and vision—from selling cars to selling organic fertilizer—but his greatest pride was his family. He loved you, Pam, with visible tenderness—waking early to warm up your car, sneaking your favorite snacks into the pantry, and ensuring you never forgot how much you were loved.

Katie and Tom are not absent today. Their love abides—in you, in your families, and in the way you choose to love each other now. Their stories are not closed chapters in your life, but foundations on which this new chapter stands.

And that foundation is solid. Because, as we heard in the Song of Solomon, “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.” Those words are more than poetic sentiment—they’re testimony. The waters have risen in your lives. You’ve walked through grief, through change, through the aching silence of absence. But love endured. It was not quenched. It carried you, and it brought you here—not to replace what was, but to bear witness to what still is, and what now begins. The love that you now pledge to each other, is not separate from your past—it is the fruit of it, the next unfolding of the story God is still telling. And now, that love—poured out, remembered, still alive—leads us to this altar, where a new covenant begins.

In a few moments, you will make vows that are forged in real life, through both joy and hardship. “For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.” These are not phrases you recite without understanding. You have lived them. You know better than most that these vows are not for when life is easy, but for when it is hard. And because of that, what you promise today has a depth and power that only comes through time and trial.

This is the wisdom of seasoned love—a love that embraces honesty, vulnerability, humor, and grace. A love that understands compromise and forgiveness. A love that doesn’t seek to possess or perfect, but to serve and honor and build up.

And let’s not forget joy. There is joy in your companionship, laughter in your conversations, warmth in your shared daily life. Marriage isn’t all solemnity and self-sacrifice—it’s also bickering over the thermostat, arguing over which movie to stream, and maybe, just maybe, splitting the last piece of pie without incident. As someone once said, marriage is when two become one… and then spend the next 30 years negotiating which one.

Your marriage is more than private joy. It’s a gift to all of us who love you. It speaks to those who wonder if joy can come again: yes, by God’s grace, it can and does. It assures us that even after profound loss, life still blooms. You show us that grace is always at work—quietly, steadily, making beauty out of our brokenness. And in that grace, we are never truly separated from those we have loved. In a moment, as we kneel at this altar rail, we will join with Katie and Tom at the great wedding feast of the Lamb in heaven, their joy now complete, their love still intertwined with yours as you begin your married life together.

Bob and Pam, may your life together be full of God’s grace. May your home be a haven of laughter, a refuge in hard times, a place where mercy and tenderness rule the day. And may your families—those you’ve raised, those you’ve inherited, and those you choose—be blessed by your love for one another. Amen.